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Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

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Caregiving – FASD (part 3)

3 steps to managing children with FASD

a) Recognize that FASD is a medical condition

– FASD is not a bad attitude

– it must be treated as a medical condition

– society has denied this reality of FASD and blames the indivivual

– “just sit down and behave” is unrealistic

– punishing a child with FASD for brain damage is useless

– society (homes, schools, treatment centres, hospitals, jail) seldom provide adequate                                          supports

– children with visible handicaps receive more supports

b)  Involve the individual with FASD in their management as early as possible

– often caregivers shield the individual from their diagnosis  – shame, guilt

– best if the individual knows the truth

– care must be taken to not remove responsibility from the child for his actions (this is a                                      delicate balancing act)

c) Discard or modify treatments that have previously failed

– the “usual” interventions fail because individuals with FASD cannot learn in the time                                    given to them

– the individual lacks impulse control. boundaries, etc.

– interventions are too short term – caregivers give up too soon

– schools try to “mainstream” when the child is unable to cope behaviourally or                                                   socially

There is no single approach that is best for all FASD children!

Whatever approach is used, compassion is vital but it can become lost in the day to day struggles, challenges, failures and misbehaviours.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)