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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Learn more.

Sleep Problems (part 2)

Sleep Facts

  1. Children differ in their ability to sleep

– some are excellent at birth and throughout their childhood (lucky you)

– some are inherently more susceptible  to disrupted sleep patterns

– it is normal for everyone (adults & children) to have brief wakenings during the night                                                     (most only last a few seconds or minutes and we go right back to sleep)

2. Sleep provides a restorative function for the body and the brain.

3. There are distinct stages of sleep:

a) nonREM (non rapid eye movement)

– restorative functions of sleep occur

– 4 different levels ranging from drowsiness to very deep

– lie quietly, very relaxed

– unlikely to dream

– usually in the first hours of sleep

b) REM sleep (rapid eye movement)

– brain waves become very busy

– usually later portion of sleep period

– heart and breathing rate becomes irregular

– blood pressure increases

– males have penile erection

– small twitches, body movement

– dream state

– temperature of the brain increases

Failure to get sufficient amounts of sleep at  these various stages   result in significant problems in physical and mental development. It also puts tremendous strain on parents and I frequently hear comments such as these from parents:

“I’m at the end of my rope.”

” We are at out wits end”.

” I’m totally exhausted”.

Some common sleep issues with children:

  • bedtime resistors
  • inability to fall asleep
  • frequently waking in night – unable to return to sleep
  • waking too early/ late
  • falling asleep too early in evening
  • snoring
  • bedwetting
  • nightmares / night terrors
  • sleep walking

Subsequent posts will deal with a number of these problems.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)