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It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Hurt people hurt people.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

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Caregiving – FASD (part 3)

3 steps to managing children with FASD

a) Recognize that FASD is a medical condition

– FASD is not a bad attitude

– it must be treated as a medical condition

– society has denied this reality of FASD and blames the indivivual

– “just sit down and behave” is unrealistic

– punishing a child with FASD for brain damage is useless

– society (homes, schools, treatment centres, hospitals, jail) seldom provide adequate                                          supports

– children with visible handicaps receive more supports

b)  Involve the individual with FASD in their management as early as possible

– often caregivers shield the individual from their diagnosis  – shame, guilt

– best if the individual knows the truth

– care must be taken to not remove responsibility from the child for his actions (this is a                                      delicate balancing act)

c) Discard or modify treatments that have previously failed

– the “usual” interventions fail because individuals with FASD cannot learn in the time                                    given to them

– the individual lacks impulse control. boundaries, etc.

– interventions are too short term – caregivers give up too soon

– schools try to “mainstream” when the child is unable to cope behaviourally or                                                   socially

There is no single approach that is best for all FASD children!

Whatever approach is used, compassion is vital but it can become lost in the day to day struggles, challenges, failures and misbehaviours.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)