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We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

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Where to begin looking for help

What options does a parent have when seeking help for their child’s behaviour problems?

Parents who ask for my help have usually experienced many of the following emotions:

  • frustration
  • misunderstood
  • confused
  • overwhelmed
  • exhausted
  • bewildered
  • angry
  • guilty
  • inadequate
  • isolated
  • vulnerable
  • trapped
  • embarrassed
  • helpless
  • hopeless

This is not a fun place for a parent to be and not a healthy place for a child to grow. I am not usually the first person that parents ask to help. In fact there are lots of people that offer advice on how to deal with behaviour problems. So many people with so many ideas, that it can be mind blogging just to know where to begin looking for help. Often times the help one expert suggests is completely contradictory to another equally qualified expert. How is a parent to know where to begin ?

I offer the following suggestion:

Listen to the advice from everyone you can and then filter it through your knowledge of your own child and your understanding of your own particular strengths and weaknesses. Discard the advice that does not line up with your family’s needs, values and abilities and consider the advise that makes sense to you.

What parents need most are ideas, so they can look at their options and decide what is best for their own child.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years !

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“You have changed our life! Thanks, it needed changing!”

(T.N. – London)