welcome image

Parenting style matters - a lot!

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Learn more.

Symptoms of “Executive Dysfunction”

These are the kinds of things that make living with or working with an ADHD child challenging.

  • lack of foresight (unable to predict consequences for his/her behaviour)
  • poor hindsight (“Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you to  . . . )
  • live for the minute (the future and past do not exist)
  • poor organization (unable to “get it together” in A.M.)
  • trouble returning to a task (“Johnny, you never complete anything”)
  • poor sense of time (“Johnny, you can’t spend 1 hour on the first 2 questions”)
  • time moves too slowly (“Are we almost there?”)
  • poor self talk (“Johnny, what were you thinking)
  • poor sense of self awareness (answer to above question – “I don’t have a clue”)
  • poor internalization and generalization of rules (“Why do I have to tell you the same thing over and over”)
  • poor reading of social clues (“Johnny, can’t you see that the other children think that’s weird”)
  • inconsistent work and behaviour (“Johnny, if you could do it well yesterday, why is today so horrible”)
  • trouble with transitions (“Johnny, why do you curse at me when I’m just calling you for dinner”)
  • hyper focused at times (“When Johnny is on the computer, I can’t get him off”)
  • poor frustration tolerance (“Johnny, it’s no big deal. Just get over it”)
  • frequently overwhelmed (“Stop, stop, I can’t stand it”)
  • angry (quickly and frequently)
  • push away those trying to help
  • over reacting (but it’s really over feeling)
  • inflexible, explosive reactions
  • thrill seeking behaviours
  • trouble paying attention to others
  • trouble making and keeping friends
  • sense of failure to achieve goals

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)