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Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

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The “Behavioural” Approach

The behavioural approach to managing children involves the application of learning principles identified by famous psychologists such as Pavlov, Thorndike, Skinner, Wolpe and Bandura. Each one of these individuals and countless others described strategies that increased desired behaviours, decreased undesired behaviours or taught new behaviours. These behaviour pioneers stressed the importance of direct observation and carefully analyzing the nature of the child’s behaviour in terms of “what is the kid trying to achieve?”.

Once the behaviours have been clearly defined and the “function” of the behaviour has been determined it is a relatively small step to determining intervention strategies to change the frequency, rate, intensity or duration of the behaviours.

The central premise of the behaviourists is that individuals repeat behaviours that “work” for them and abandon behaviours that “do not work”. An individual who performs a certain behaviour repeatedly is somehow being reinforced for the behaviour. If this were not so, he would not be repeating the behaviour.

The focus of the behaviourist approach in dealing with behaviour  is to develop responses  to the behaviour in a manner likely to reduce the probability of an inappropriate  behaviour being repeated and likely increasing the probability of an appropriate behaviour being repeated. The advantage of this approach is that it provides parents and teachers with direct applications for the home and classroom settings. In fact the main agent for change will be the people who spend the most time with the child (parents & teachers) rather than the therapist who may only see the child at scheduled appointment times.

 

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)