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The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Criticism is not a motivator.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

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Rachel – age 15

WARNING SIGNS
                  Journal entry – Rachel age 15
“If I’m not doing what I want to do in a few years, then I will commit suicide. I’m surprised I haven’t done it yet because I feel really terrible all the time – well, maybe most of the time. I just don’t have any courage but anyone else in my position would have already committed suicide.
I would love to drop out of school but I don’t think I could do it because then it’s final. I wouldn’t feel complete. Nothing helps me. I know when people hear this they’re going to say that killing yourself is stupid and I feel like they are yelling at me. I l think it makes me feel worse – not that anyone will ever hear this because I’ve written these a million times to tell people how I feel. I am hoping that I would show this to someone today finally to tell how I feel. I’m really confused about everything. Usually my friends can help me but now there is nothing they can do.
I think a lot about omens. I think everything that happens to me is an omen and the sun is now reflecting off the building right in front of me – in my eyes – and I feel that’s a good sign, but I still feel really bad.”
 
Profile
                  – Rachel age 15
                  – stable home life
                  – clearly struggling, desperate for help
                  – feeling trapped
                  – difficulty asking for help
                  – there were a number of warning signs
 
Prologue
                  – parent’s recognized problem
                  – received counseling
                  – prescribed antidepressants
                  – went to college
                  – continues to struggle with depression as an adult

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)