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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

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Arguing

 

 
 
 
 
 
ARGUING

 

 A child can only argue with someone who is willing to argue with him.

 Children only argue with adults who take the bait.

CONTROLLING ARGUING

When he/she starts to argue

1. give him a choice: “either stay her and stop arguing”

OR

“go someplace else in the house and argue with yourself

no yelling, no anger, no time-out, no arguing

– you are giving him a choice with wide parameters

(if he continues arguing and he probably will)

 

 2. take away his best previous choice (“staying here” and replace it with a less preferable one): – “either go someplace else and argue”

OR

“go to your room”

– no yelling, anger or arguing

you are continuing to give choices but the parameters are becoming narrower

(if he continues)

3. keep taking away the best option and replace it with a less preferable option:– “either go to your room

OR

“time out”

4. other options

OR      “no TV”

“ fine”

“take away a treasure”

“withdrawal of privileges”

Our hope is that the child will learn to make good decisions for himself – or you will !


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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“You have changed our life! Thanks, it needed changing!”

(T.N. – London)