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Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)