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The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

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Post Adoption Resources

 

Children born into a biological family seldom reflect on what it means to be a family. The dynamics evolve into a familiar and comfortable routine that we just take for granted. Children who enter the family through adoption have probably been in several foster homes and do not have a sense of what “family” means.  This is all very new territory for a child who has been a transient part of numerous families before becoming a part of yours. Every biological family has their own unique routines, patterns  and traditions. A new member entering  your  family (biological, foster, adopted) will alter the pattern somewhat, resulting in a learning curve for the new member and the existing ones.

Adoption can result in a steep learning curve for everyone and some advice that adoptive parents that have consulted with me recommend these tips to those just starting out in adoption.

  • take advantage of parental leave from work – this applies to both mom and dad
  • minimize visitors to your home for several weeks or months
  • do not leave your adopted children in someone else’s care
  • cut back on extracurricular activities for a period of time
  • say “no’ to volunteer work that does not involve the whole family
  • verbalize about how your family does things – e.g.. “In our family we take the dog for a walk after supper”
  • do things together as a family: meals, games, jobs around the house
  • be mindful of  the needs of your other children

Bringing another child into your home is a wonderful and selfless gift but there will be some bumps along the road. Do not hesitate to ask for help as you search for answers. Many families have travelled this road before and they can be a wealth of information and support.

Behaviour Management Systems has assisted numerous families with issues related to adoption. One of those issues will be around discipline and formulating a plan early can be the difference maker. Parenting adoptive children is not the same as parenting your biological children and failure to recognize this and adapt your parenting style can lead to unbelievable tension within a home and eventual breakdown of the family or the adoption..

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)