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"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

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10 Things to Know About an Angry Brain

 

I recently had the pleasure of attending a full day workshop entitled “Healing the Angry Brain” presented by Dr. Ron Potter-Efron from Wisconsin. He informed and entertained a large group of mental health professionals about his research and clinical experiences of working with clients dealing with significant anger, hostility, aggression and rage issues.He emphasized that there is not a one size fits all approach to treatment as each person’s anger experience is unique. One part of his presentation was titled “10 Things to Know About the Angry Brain”:

  1. Think of the brain as a survival machine and anger as a survival enhancing emotion.
  2. Much anger is defensive and protective – derived from and maintained by perceived threats.
  3. A core sense of safety is ultimately the best anger inhibitor.
  4. Anger is usually turned on unconsciously but may be turned off consciously.
  5. People with angry brains often have: a) very distorted or selective memories b) inaccurate interpretations of the present c) unrealistic expectations about the future – all of which trigger defensiveness and anger.
  6. The principles of neuroplasticity apply to the angry brain.
  7. People with angry brains are continually training themselves to become more angry.
  8. Positive interactive circuits must be developed to replace negative ones.
  9. Changing the angry brain involves people changing their lives, not just their anger.
  10. Anger is a social experience and must be treated in the context of a person’s entire life.

Ron went on to present a number of therapeutic approaches to assist clients and he finished with this optimistic summary:

  • angry people have angry brains
  • angry people can change their brains
  • doing so greatly improves their lives
  • so the likelihood for relapse to anger is relatively low
  • we can help people change their angry brains

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)