Setting Limits with Teenagers
Setting Limits with Teenagers !
A teenager’s job description includes being:
- impulsive
- rebellious
- style-obsessed
- irritable
- incommunicative
- peer centered
- risk taker
- sleep deprived
While judgment skills are developing, he needs parents to keep him safe by setting clear limits backed up with fair, reasonable, firm and consistent consequences.
- Balanced limits builds trust between parents and teens – you need to find a balance between your need for control and your teen’s needs for independence.
- Every teen is different. Figure out where your teen is – some need a lot of structure, other’s don’t.
- Let your teen help create the rules – teens are much more likely to obey rules and limits that they help to create.
- Work together on consequences
- there must be a price for stepping out of line,
- working together in advance prevents many bad feelings
- Prepare yourself for your teen’s mistakes
- all teens make mistakes, that’s how they learn
- mom/dad – keep your emotions in check
- briefly and calmly explain your disappointment, anger, frustration, fears
- enforce the agreed upon consequences
When things are going well (hopefully most of the time) be sure to tell her you noticed (everyone likes a pat own the back)