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Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Criticism is not a motivator.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

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The “Skills Acquisition” Approach

The skills acquisition approach assumes that the source of the behaviour problems lie in a skills deficit. This means that the child cannot do something or doesn’t know something that directly leads into an inappropriate behaviour. The skills acquisition people state that once the child learns the missing skill, the undesirable behaviors will fade away, therefore the solution lies in determining what skill(s) is lacking and developing a plan to teach it. An obvious example […]

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Counselling

Another option commonly pursued in finding solutions to children’s behaviour problems is counselling. The approaches in this grouping represent very broad and divergent directions, but all of them employ communication between a therapist and the client. At one extreme end of the counselling continuum we have psychotherapy. Theories developed by Sigmund Freud and his adherents believe that the root cause of  person’s inappropriate behaviours lie in unresolved conflicts in the client’s past (frequently involving mother!). […]

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The “Biochemical” Option

Assuming the doctor has not found a “clearly definable” medical problem, another option to consider is biochemical. The words you use to describe your child’s behaviour may suggest to the doctor that there is a problem with the biochemistry of the brain. Brain chemistry abnormalities is theorized to be the cause of many disorders that result in behaviour problems. Conditions such as ADHD, conduct disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and dozens of others are believed […]

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The 5 “Conventional” Options

All the ideas regarding treating behavioural problems from the “conventional” experts could be placed into 1 of 5 broad categories. 1. medical 2. biochemical 3. counselling 4. skills acquisition 5. behavioural The next series of blog entries will summarize what these categories entail. 1. Medical One of experts that parents turn to for help is often the child’s pediatrician. During the office appointment the parent describes the behaviours of concern and the doctor will probably […]

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Archive Test

This is a test of the archive.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)