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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

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The “Skills Acquisition” Approach

The skills acquisition approach assumes that the source of the behaviour problems lie in a skills deficit. This means that the child cannot do something or doesn’t know something that directly leads into an inappropriate behaviour. The skills acquisition people state that once the child learns the missing skill, the undesirable behaviors will fade away, therefore the solution lies in determining what skill(s) is lacking and developing a plan to teach it. An obvious example […]

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Counselling

Another option commonly pursued in finding solutions to children’s behaviour problems is counselling. The approaches in this grouping represent very broad and divergent directions, but all of them employ communication between a therapist and the client. At one extreme end of the counselling continuum we have psychotherapy. Theories developed by Sigmund Freud and his adherents believe that the root cause of  person’s inappropriate behaviours lie in unresolved conflicts in the client’s past (frequently involving mother!). […]

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The “Biochemical” Option

Assuming the doctor has not found a “clearly definable” medical problem, another option to consider is biochemical. The words you use to describe your child’s behaviour may suggest to the doctor that there is a problem with the biochemistry of the brain. Brain chemistry abnormalities is theorized to be the cause of many disorders that result in behaviour problems. Conditions such as ADHD, conduct disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, depression and dozens of others are believed […]

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The 5 “Conventional” Options

All the ideas regarding treating behavioural problems from the “conventional” experts could be placed into 1 of 5 broad categories. 1. medical 2. biochemical 3. counselling 4. skills acquisition 5. behavioural The next series of blog entries will summarize what these categories entail. 1. Medical One of experts that parents turn to for help is often the child’s pediatrician. During the office appointment the parent describes the behaviours of concern and the doctor will probably […]

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Archive Test

This is a test of the archive.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)