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Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Learn more.

Temper Tantrums (18 months to 3 years)

A tantrum from a child this age becomes more dramatic. Expect screaming, crying, protest, slamming toys and doors, throwing objects, self injurious behaviours and lying on the ground with flailing arms and legs. The most effective and appropriate responses by the parent of a child this age are “redirection”, “extinction”, and “wait out”. For safety reason, stay within eyesight of the child. The “teachable moment” is not during the tantrum but sometime after you and your child have cooled down. “Withdrawal of a privilege”  or  “tracking” may be appropriate and effective for a child at the upper end of this age group.

Next posting – dealing with tantrums from children 3 years to 6 years old

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

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