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Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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