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The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Parenting style matters - a lot!

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

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Dealing with Temper Tantrums

No two children are the same. There are no universal disciplinary techniques that apply to all children. There are however, some general principles to keep in mind:

  1. tantrums are normal in young children
  2. tantrums are vehicles to teach valuable life long lessons
  3. children manifest tantrums most often:

a) when their wishes are not met

b) when they are tired or hungry

4. your appropriate response is critical and will determine if your child learns those valuable

lessons

5. your response should be determined by an analysis of the circumstances – what is your child

trying to  achieve by the tantrums  eg. attention seeking, expressing frustration or anger,

trying to avoid a responsibility, social control, reversing the “no” word, sick, fear, etc., etc.)

6. if the child is successful in achieving his/her “goal”, the tantrum was reinforced and the

probability of another tantrum has been increased

7. if the child is unsuccessful in achieving his / her “goal” the tantrum was NOT reinforced and

the probability of another tantrum has been reduced.

8. tantrum behaviour can often be traced directly to an adult’s pattern of giving in to the child’s

wishes as soon as the tantrum behaviour becomes “intolerable”.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)