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"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

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FASD – Late Childhood (aged 8 – 12)

The main developmental task for children of this age is to develop a sense of industry. Family stresses are likely to increase as FASD children can be exhausting. Caregivers will benefit from counselling and respite care may become necessary. Peer and sibling relationships can become more difficult because the child may have legitimate  difficulty with following the rules, turn taking, cheating, stealing, breaking things and being unpredictable. Children with FASD do not understand the feelings of others and he/she may find structured groups to be beneficial (eg. Cubs, Brownies, karate, etc.)

Sexuality – Puberty is right around the corner which can bring a new set of concerns to parents. Because children with FASD have trouble understanding boundaries the risk of being sexually abused or aggressive increases. They have trouble cueing into social norms and are frequently very impulsive. Open discussion about sexuality at this stage makes discussing these issues in the teen years easier.

School – School will probably continue to be a area of concern and I recommend that the parents and teacher have a communication system in place to check on work frequently. Worksheets with a small amount on each page and breaking the assignments into small sections will help the child remain focused. Computers, calculators, tape recorders etc. can increase his/her attention span and oral exams may be beneficial.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)