Handling a “Manipulative” Tantrum
- don’t give in unless your original demand/denial is unreasonable
- if it is unreasonable, be prepared to change your mind
- you must send a message that tantrums don’t work
- if you give in, you are reinforcing tantrums
- your attitude should be “firm”
- do not be too sympathetic – avoid saying “I’m sorry you’re upset and crying, perhaps you can have a lollipop later” but rather “You cannot have a lollipop, that’s all there is to it”
Appropriate Behavioural Strategies
- prevention
- redirection / distraction
- extinction
- time out
- withdrawal of privilege
- reinforce appropriate responses
- physical guidance
It is best to deal with manipulative tantrums with a consistent approach. Be firm, don’t give in, stay single minded, ignore “red herrings”, don’t get drawn into negotiations.
“Track” with the child during “teachable” moments.
“Reinforce” appropriate responses.
Next post – handling a “temperamental” tantrum