Rachel – age 15
WARNING SIGNS
Journal entry – Rachel age 15
“If I’m not doing what I want to do in a few years, then I will commit suicide. I’m surprised I haven’t done it yet because I feel really terrible all the time – well, maybe most of the time. I just don’t have any courage but anyone else in my position would have already committed suicide.
I would love to drop out of school but I don’t think I could do it because then it’s final. I wouldn’t feel complete. Nothing helps me. I know when people hear this they’re going to say that killing yourself is stupid and I feel like they are yelling at me. I l think it makes me feel worse – not that anyone will ever hear this because I’ve written these a million times to tell people how I feel. I am hoping that I would show this to someone today finally to tell how I feel. I’m really confused about everything. Usually my friends can help me but now there is nothing they can do.
I think a lot about omens. I think everything that happens to me is an omen and the sun is now reflecting off the building right in front of me – in my eyes – and I feel that’s a good sign, but I still feel really bad.”
Profile
– Rachel age 15
– stable home life
– clearly struggling, desperate for help
– feeling trapped
– difficulty asking for help
– there were a number of warning signs
Prologue
– parent’s recognized problem
– received counseling
– prescribed antidepressants
– went to college
– continues to struggle with depression as an adult
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