welcome image

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Learn more.

Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

 

 

Concession

Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both of you? Have you been unreasonable in the first place, demanding too much and thus contributing to the scene?

Sometimes a parent realizes soon after making a request of stating a vehement “No, you can’t!” that the request is unreasonable or the desired compliance goes beyond a fair expectation for this child. Now comes the dilemma. Should I stick to my guns, and make the point that when I say something, I mean it even if I now realize that what I have asked is dumb? Am I going to give in eventually anyway? The key is timing. If you know that sooner or later you are going to relent, then relent now. The more time that passes in the tandtrum scene, the more reinforcement the child receives for the idea that persistence does pay off. The child may perceive that there are rewards to the one who can lhold out the longest.

Most parents feel that if they give their instincts a chance, they can sense the times when it is best to give in, just as they can sense the times when they must maintain control.

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)