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We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Criticism is not a motivator.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

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The Changing Brain

 

Our brains constantly change over our lifetime as we develop and age. As a consequence, the way various brain functions work also changes, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.

The brain of a newborn is far from developed; it needs time to fully grow and establish connections on both large and small scales. Our brain’s functions improve drastically throughout childhood and adolescence, following a generally predictably progression. It is only in our mid 20′s that we finally possess a fully-equipped brain, complete with a well-developed prefrontal cortex to help each of us succeed in leading an independent life as an adult.

Even after the brain is fully formed in young adulthood, researchers have found the functions that benefit from accumulated experience, such as vocabulary-related language skills, pattern recognition and emotional self-regulation, tend to improve decade after decade.

On the other hand, starting in our late 20′s and early 30′s, the research shows that speed of processing and working memory tend (on average) to slow down, reducing our capacity to process and deal with complex new information. This is a gradual process that often first  becomes noticeable in our early 40′s. Of course, individuals vary significantly in how and when they experience this decline: some people experience a significant decline while others do not.

In short, “old dogs” can certainly learn – faster than “young dogs” in domains that benefit from accumulated experience, and slower in domains that change too rapidly for accumulated experience to accrue a significant benefit.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)