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The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

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The Problem with ADD/ADHD Assessments

The medical community uses the term “diagnosis drives treatment”.  This means that a correct diagnosis must be made before a treatment is prescribed. This is quite straight forward with many medical problems (examples – throat infections, cancer, heart attacks, broken bones, abscess tooth, etc) as there are diagnostic tests that can definitively identify the problem (examples – blood tests, bacterial cultures, MRI, biopsies, X rays, etc).

The problem diagnosing  ADD/ADHD (and many other problems in the brain) is that there are no “hard” biological markers that can be used to definitively diagnose it. The diagnosis is made by interpreting the observations of the child’s parents and teachers. The only professionals that are legally allowed to diagnose ADD/ADHD  are medical doctors and some psychologists. These professions sometimes  observe the child directly but more often than not they use the observations of others in making a diagnosis. This admittedly is a poor way to diagnose a problem and subsequently decide on a treatment plan but it is the usual way it is done.

My next posting will outline the preferred assessment procedures for ADD/ADHD.

“What parents need most are ideas because with ideas we get options.”

Rick Harper  has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)