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You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Hurt people hurt people.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

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THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS

 

A “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” begins when a child repeatedly performs an inappropriate behaviour and the parent’s attempt to manage it is unsuccessful. The behaviour is repeated many times over a period of time with the results being:

  1. management strategy continues to be less than successful
  2. parent gets angry
  3. the child continues the behaviour
  4. child gets “locked in” and shows no sign of wanting to cooperate
  5. parent gets “locked in” to a strategy that isn’t working

The end results of this cycle are:

  1. the parent’s authority gradually decreases
  2. the child’s “sense of control” increases
  3. the relationship between the parents and the child suffers greatly
  4. “I love my kid, but I really don’t like him much”

The solution to the “vicious cycle of behaviour problems” is for the parent to objectively evaluate their own response to the inappropriate behaviours and consider another response. What parents need most are ideas, because with ideas we get options. Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 35 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)