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If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Criticism is not a motivator.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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A program for children with reading problems

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This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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