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The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Hurt people hurt people.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Learn more.

Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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