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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part # 9)

    Early Intervention Intervene early, either before the tantrum starts or as soon as possible after it starts. Most children do not go from behaving appropriately to having a tantrum in a matter of seconds. More often, they first engage in inappropriate behaviours such as talking back, crying, whining or yelling. In most cases, you probably know when a tantrum is about to occur. Whenever you have the gut feeling that IT is about […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 8)

    Concession Sometimes nothing works. And sometimes for reasons of sheer equality or common sense or both, the parent finds it necessary to concede. After all, we’re not our childlren’s adversaries; we’re their advocates. Sometimes, both interests are seerved by giving in. Giving in to a tantrum now and then will not foster a juvenile delinquent. Is the damage done by one extra cookie worth half an hour of wear and tear on both […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 7)

    Retreat Sometimes there is nothing else but to retreat. Let the child know you will absolutely not be drawn in. This approach is justified when the stimulus to the tantrum is so absurd that it is not worth any effort  (such as the one that frequently occurs when someone fails to cut the sandwich in precisely the correct size pieces). No parent should be expected to wasted much imaginative effort on such minuscule […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 6)

Diversionary Tactic Try to divert the child’s interest to something else. Pick up his favourite book and offer to read, or bring him a toy he likes. Children, especially young ones, have such short attention spans that they can often be distracted from their own performances. If this doesn’t work, try sitting down and actively playing with one of the child’s toys yourself. Make comments like, “Gee, I’d forgotten how much fun this puzzle is. […]

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 5)

    Bait & Switch For the child with a good sense of humour (usually an older child or three or more), bait and switch is worth a try. The parent says something like, “I can see you’re angry, so whatever you do, don’t smile. Oh no! I think I see a smile! Don’t let your mouth smile!” It’s amazing how often this con can be repeated successfully.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)