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The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Hurt people hurt people.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Criticism is not a motivator.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

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Services

Private Consultation
Behavioural Management Systems is a totally private and independent training and consulting business.

We are dedicated to assisting parents develop, implement and monitor programs to decrease the rate, duration and intensity of inappropriate behaviours of their children.

Experts from various disciplines (medical, psychiatric, psychological, social work, speech & language, education, etc) have all contributed to a vast pool of knowledge that can be confusing and is often contradictory.

Expert A says “Do this don’t do that!”
Expert B says “Do that don’t do this!”

Behavioural Management Systems helps parents sort through these ideas and assists them in a process that leads to the development of a totally individualized behaviour plan for their own child in their own home. 

What Kind of Problems?

Aggression
Temper Tantrums
School Problems
Non-Compliance
Disrespect
Truancy
Self Injurious Behaviours
Swearing
Homework
Running Away
Destructive
Sibling Rivalry
Substance Abuse
Breaking Curfew
ADHD, ODD, etc
Whining
Messy Rooms
Peer Problems

Rick meets with parents at a time and place that is convenient for them. Most opt to meet in their home and sessions are scheduled in the morning, afternoon or evening to accommodate the parents’ schedules.

Teleconferencing

Take advantage of information technology. It is now possible to receive individual family consultations using the phone, fax, mail and e-mail. Save time, travel and money and eliminate the waiting list. This method of receiving help is remarkably fast, efficient and effective and is growing rapidly in popularity.
Contact us by phone or e-mail for details.

Workshops

Our workshops have been enthusiastically received by parents, teachers, Children’s Aid Societies, daycare staff, church groups, community colleges, professional associations, group home staff etc.

Learn more about our courses.

Conference Speaker

Rick is frequently asked to give keynote or plenary addresses to diverse groups. His sense of humour and infectious enthusiasm captures  the audience’s attention.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)