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"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Learn more.

Sleep Problems (part 2)

Sleep Facts

  1. Children differ in their ability to sleep

– some are excellent at birth and throughout their childhood (lucky you)

– some are inherently more susceptible  to disrupted sleep patterns

– it is normal for everyone (adults & children) to have brief wakenings during the night                                                     (most only last a few seconds or minutes and we go right back to sleep)

2. Sleep provides a restorative function for the body and the brain.

3. There are distinct stages of sleep:

a) nonREM (non rapid eye movement)

– restorative functions of sleep occur

– 4 different levels ranging from drowsiness to very deep

– lie quietly, very relaxed

– unlikely to dream

– usually in the first hours of sleep

b) REM sleep (rapid eye movement)

– brain waves become very busy

– usually later portion of sleep period

– heart and breathing rate becomes irregular

– blood pressure increases

– males have penile erection

– small twitches, body movement

– dream state

– temperature of the brain increases

Failure to get sufficient amounts of sleep at  these various stages   result in significant problems in physical and mental development. It also puts tremendous strain on parents and I frequently hear comments such as these from parents:

“I’m at the end of my rope.”

” We are at out wits end”.

” I’m totally exhausted”.

Some common sleep issues with children:

  • bedtime resistors
  • inability to fall asleep
  • frequently waking in night – unable to return to sleep
  • waking too early/ late
  • falling asleep too early in evening
  • snoring
  • bedwetting
  • nightmares / night terrors
  • sleep walking

Subsequent posts will deal with a number of these problems.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)