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Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Hurt people hurt people.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Learn more.

Services

Private Consultation
Behavioural Management Systems is a totally private and independent training and consulting business.

We are dedicated to assisting parents develop, implement and monitor programs to decrease the rate, duration and intensity of inappropriate behaviours of their children.

Experts from various disciplines (medical, psychiatric, psychological, social work, speech & language, education, etc) have all contributed to a vast pool of knowledge that can be confusing and is often contradictory.

Expert A says ”Do this don’t do that!”
Expert B says ”Do that don’t do this!”

Behavioural Management Systems helps parents sort through these ideas and assists them in a process that leads to the development of a totally individualized behaviour plan for their own child in their own home. 

What Kind of Problems?

Aggression
Temper Tantrums
School Problems
Non-Compliance
Disrespect
Truancy
Self Injurious Behaviours
Swearing
Homework
Running Away
Destructive
Sibling Rivalry
Substance Abuse
Breaking Curfew
ADHD, ODD, etc
Whining
Messy Rooms
Peer Problems

Rick meets with parents at a time and place that is convenient for them. Most opt to meet in their home and sessions are scheduled in the morning, afternoon or evening to accommodate the parents’ schedules.

Teleconferencing

Take advantage of information technology. It is now possible to receive individual family consultations using the phone, fax, mail and e-mail. Save time, travel and money and eliminate the waiting list. This method of receiving help is remarkably fast, efficient and effective and is growing rapidly in popularity.
Contact us by phone or e-mail for details.

Workshops

Our workshops have been enthusiastically received by parents, teachers, Children’s Aid Societies, daycare staff, church groups, community colleges, professional associations, group home staff etc.

Learn more about our courses.

Conference Speaker

Rick is frequently asked to give keynote or plenary addresses to diverse groups. His sense of humour and infectious enthusiasm captures  the audience’s attention.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)