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If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

Hurt people hurt people.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Criticism is not a motivator.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Learn more.

About Rick

Rick is a retired school teacher with 32 years classroom experience. The vast majority of those years was working with special needs children ranging in age from 4 to 21 and diagnosed with conditions such as:

  • Learning disabled
  • Psychiatric disorders eg. ADHD, Tourettes syndrome, conduct disorder, autism, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc
  • Developmentally disabled
  • Emotionally disturbed
  • Young offenders
  • Chronically & Terminally ill
  • Physically disabled

He has taught classrooms within:

  • Children’s mental health treatment centres
  • Detention centres
  • Hospitals
  • Residential institutions
  • Regular schools
  • professor at Fanshawe College

Rick began his own consulting business in 1995 dedicated to training parents how to assess and manage their own children’s behaviour problems in their own home. A significant part of this business is conducting workshops for:

  • School boards
  • Children’s Aid Societies
  • Community colleges
  • Day care centres
  • Church groups

Rick and his wife Marlene have 2 grown children and are long time foster parents who have opened their home to many special needs children ranging in age from newborns to teens.

Rick’s entire professional life has been devoted to helping kids who have significant behaviour problems. His goal has been to take the theories developed by the academics and figure out practical ways to implement them in ordinary homes and classrooms.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness’”

(N.S. – London)