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Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

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“Alternative” Approaches

The preceding 5 approaches could be described as the “conventional” approaches to changing behaviour. There are of course other directions one could look, but they would be categorized more as “alternative” approaches. I do not mean to belittle them in any way, it is just that they are more “outside the box” and they generally do not have the degree of independent and peer reviewed research to provide evidence of their effectiveness.

Examples of these “alternative” approaches include:

  • chiropractic skeletal adjustments
  • magnet therapy
  • nutritional supplements
  • colour therapy
  • “healing” circles
  • hypnosis
  • meditation
  • and many other

There are unquestionably many honest and sincere anecdotal reports claiming the merits of these approaches, but they represent initiatives beyond the scope of my postings.

Next posting – What is the Best Option?

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)