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Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

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