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"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

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Types of Temper Tantrums

There are 2 types of tantrums:

  1. manipulative (child is trying to get his own way – conscious, planned, controlled)
  2. temperamental (child can’t help it – he is truly “out of control”)

Both types can look the same and one form can lead into another. A temperamental tantrum acquires a manipulative quality when the child comes to understand the value of what he’s is doing.

Guidelines to Help Distinguish the Two Types

  • the manipulative tantrum is typically less intense
  • the manipulative tantrum is clearly the result of the child not getting something he wants
  • the motive is obvious for manipulative tantrums – you don’t need to look very hard to find it
  • the temperament tantrum relates to an underlying temperamental issue
  • you typically feel sorry for a child having a temperamental tantrum because “he can’t help it”
  • a manipulative tantrum feels like he’s trying to get his own way

Next post – handling a “manipulative” tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Phone: (519) 485-4678
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Email: info@rickharper.ca

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